just look into my eyes
by Skitz
Summary: Sora Takenouchi was your average goody-two-shoes... that was until she met Taichi Kamiya, the man of her dreams. This is Sora's story. Rated R for later chaps.
1. the beginning

There are those who say their lives are fucked up. They don't know the meaning of fucked up.  
Most don't know what it's like to suffer, to live with the constant pain day in and day out.  
I, however, do know. My life is completely fucked up. I guess you could say this is my story... and all stories have to have a start, so I'll begin from where my life really began... not when I was born, but when I met the love of my life. As everyone knows, your life will change instantly in that one moment.  
My name is Sora Takenouchi, and where this story begins, I am 4 months shy of turning 16. I have no idea why I'm telling you all of this, you probably don't care, but what else am I supposed to do. I have to leave something behind, I have to at least try to make others understand why I am the way I am. I have to make others understand that I've changed... and I can't go back to what I was, I just can't.  
It all started some day near the beginning of March. Technically it was night, but it makes no difference really. I was with my best friend Mimi Tachikawa. A good friend of Mimi's was to meet us at her place, someone she really wanted me to meet. I had agreed, knowing I enjoyed meeting new people. I also wanted to see what was so grand about this friend.  
From the moment he walked in the door my heart stopped, and I was in awe. He was everything I had ever dreamed of, I was sure of it. From the way he walked, to his unruly brown hair, to his captivating chocolate brown eyes. His demeanour spoke wonders of what kind of person he was. I knew I had to get to know him; I had to learn more.

It's a wonder how I made it through the night, managing to hide my feelings, as I listened to him speak, and tell his jokes and stories. I've never laughed more genuinely. When he decided it was time for him to go, because he had to go catch the bus, we all hiked it up to the bus stop to wait. I felt for sure that he was someone I would connect with, and I couldn't wait until our next encounter. When he stepped on that bus, I was left wondering when we would meet again.

As Mimi and I trekked back to her house, she slyly asked me what I thought of him. I was aware she knew I liked him, but I wasn't ready to share my feelings with anyone, not even my best friend. She just shrugged at me, and left me to my thoughts of the brown-haired god I had just interacted with. Just thinking of his name sent shivers down his spine. Taichi Kamiya...


	2. there may be something there

I met Taichi again about a week later at a coffee shop. Things weren't going so well at the time, and Mimi's boyfriend Yamato was having it rough. We had gone out for coffee to help settle his nerves, when who should walk in but Taichi, and his ex-girlfriend Katherine.

It was wonderful to sit and talk about nothing in particular. Especially listening to Yamato who, at the time, had been high off of E. Many interesting conversations were had, but I was still very taken by Taichi, and had trouble keeping my eyes off of him.

I was afraid that I would screw everything up, so I made no move to show I was interested. After talking for nearly 2 hours, Taichi and Katherine realized they needed to get a move on. As we were saying goodbye, Taichi asked for my phone number, to add to his collection of friends. With high hopes, I quickly gave it to him.

Many different scenarios raced through my head as I hugged him goodbye. One thing I did know, was that despite all of the drama in Yamato's case, Taichi had made the night worthwhile.

Taichi stayed at my house for a couple nights, when Mimi's parents were gone and he had no place to stay while he was in town. He usually stayed at Mimi's, and since Mimi was at my place, it seemed natural that he stayed as well. I didn't get any hint that he had some feelings towards me until that Saturday night, when we were sitting on my couch at around midnight. Mimi had passed out beside us. Earlier I had discovered that Taichi was of irish decent, and I had a sort of fetish with Irish accents. I had told him that had he ever used it, I would, jokingly of course, rape him.  
That Saturday, as we sat on my couch, he spoke to me in that accent. I squeaked in delight. His reply was simply "That was a sub-par raping."

I didn't see him again until I was with Mimi. Taichi happened to be staying the night at Sora's house, as was I. We walked up to rent a movie. I happened to be very tense and stressed out, which caused a large knot in my back. After arguing over it, it was decided that Taichi would give me a massage.

I don't remember much about the movie we were watching; I only concentrated on the hands that worked miraculously on my back. As the movie progressed, so did the massage, and the obvious desire held within Taichi. Apparently he was not a very subtle person, seeing as how he was breathing heavily, a mere centimetre from the back of my neck. The part that surprised me most was that I didn't care. I wanted him to be there, I wanted him to be close. I wanted his arms to be around me, his lips plastered over my own.

I wasn't supposed to feel these things. I am the innocent angel. Things hadn't gone my way in the past, and I should have been terrified of being used. In some ways I was, but I somehow managed to trust that he wouldn't leave me heartbroken.

"I need to stop this now before something happens that we'll both regret"

Those were the words he told me as he stopped the massage. As I felt his hands leave my back, and he laid back on the couch, I just wanted to feel his touch, I didn't want him to leave me. I leaned back into him, and that was how we watched the remainder of the movie. Well... sort of. You see, close to the end, he kissed me. Nothing more then that, he just kissed me. It was the greatest kiss I had received of my life. It was so innocent, yet so intense all at once. It told me so much about him that I craved more, but was content to be in his arms.

When the movie finished, Mimi went upstairs, and Taichi told her we'd join her shortly. As soon as she went up those stairs, Taichi kissed me yet again. I had never been so nervous yet so relaxed to be with a guy before. With Taichi, it was different. It was wonderful. We didn't cross below the belt, but it still was wonderful.

We knew, however, that we needed to go upstairs to bed. It wouldn't be wise to have Mimi's parents catch us. When I entered Mimi's bedroom, we sat for a moment, then he kissed me goodnight and went into Mimi's brother's room to sleep.

The next morning it was as if nothing had happened. I had never been more confused. My heart beat faster at the sight of him, but nothing seemed to shift in his features.

It wasn't until we were in Mimi's room, just talking, when Mimi sort of passed out on her love seat, leaving Taichi and I on her bed, did Taichi finally react. Unfortunately Mimi's dad saw us lying together on Mimi's bed. He didn't say anything, but I knew there was disapproval. So we quickly pulled apart.

That day was completely confusing. I had no idea where it was we stood. I knew, however, I was terrified to find out. I didn't want to hear that he had been just using me, that I meant nothing to him.   
He called me into his room that night. I was content with not going, but Mimi made me. She told me it was best to talk to him, and find out what was going on.  
Completely terrified, I wandered into his room, dressed only in my nightgown. He remarked quickly on what a wonderful outfit it was. He then went on to say that he knew I was probably confused, but he wasn't using me. There were some things he had to work out with Katherine over the week-end, and then we'd go for there. I gave him a kiss goodnight, and left, feeling slightly lighter knowing that there must be some feelings for me.


	3. my everything

Taichi was all I could talk about, all I could think about. He became my everything during the week after our encounter. Everyone knew something had happened, but I had been content with keeping it between us for the moment.  
One week after those miraculous events, I was to attend a fast with Mimi, Taichi, and friends of theirs. It was originally planned that I was to meet Mimi and Tai earlier at the bookstore, but my mother decided to be extremely bitchy, and refused to let me go.  
Mimi called me up before she left, to inform me that Tai had to show up at her place, causing me to worry. I had no idea where he was, or what had happened. Finally, after about an hour of waiting, Mimi called me again to let me know he had shown up, and they were on the way.  
When they arrived, Tai quickly explained his absence to be due to a minor car accident he had been in. I completely freaked out, questioning him, and examining every inch of him to make sure he was all right.

We had to participate in the activities the fast leaders had planned, but there was some secret being passed between Mimi and Tai that they refused to let me in on. So, being my stubborn self, I refused to talk to them until they informed me of what was going on.

After about a 20-minute period where I didn't talk to either of them, Tai conceded and brought me into the parish hall kitchen. For once, he seemed to be at a loss of words.  
"Sora, I had planned many ways of doing this. First I was going to bring you flowers, but then I realized they wouldn't last the trip from my place to here, so then I was going to leave you a note in a book, only that fell through as well. I wanted to make this special, so I'm just going to do this." He then began to speak in the Irish accent he knew I loved so well "Sora, what I'm trying to say is, will you go out with me?"  
I could hardly contain my joy. A brilliant smile erupted on my face, spreading from ear to ear. "Yes."

**Authors Note** ok, just so you all know, this is based on a true story. And this story is still technically being written in real life. I'm trying my best to update, but skool work and life in general isn't allowing me to update as much as possible. I am, however, rededicating myself to all the stories I began. It's not fair to leave readers hanging, I know how much I hate it! So expect a new chappy soon!!

muah  
Skitz


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